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31-Jul-2017 13:21 by 5 Comments

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I don't think your grandfather would be particularly proud of what you're doing.

- You think I'd really get you a Porsche for your first car? At least you'll have some Transformers quotes (or even a monologue or two) to annoy your coworkers with in the meantime, right? We know not where it comes from, only that it holds the power to create worlds and fill them with life. For a time, we lived in harmony, but like all great power, some wanted it for good, others for evil. You've been talking about barbecued 'gators and crickets for the last two weeks. And so began the war, a war that ravaged our planet until it was consumed by death, and the Cube was lost to the far reaches of space. When I was your age, I'd have been happy with four wheels and an engine. You said half a car, not half a piece of crap, Dad. Bogie is in the weeds ten miles out, not squawking.

Unidentified aircraft, you are in restricted US military airspace. Raptors one and two, snap to heading two-five-zero to intercept. Sir, says here 4500 X was shot down three months ago. And the compass makes a great gift for Columbus Day. Unfortunately, my great-great-grandfather, the genius that he was, wound up going blind and crazy in a psycho ward, drawing these strange symbols and babbling on about some giant ice man that he thought he'd discovered. We scattered across the galaxy, hoping to find it and rebuild our home, searching every star, every world. And just when all hope seemed lost, message of a new discovery drew us to an unknown planet called Earth. Colonel Sharp, we have an inbound unidentified infiltrator, 10 miles out.

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